Unusual Estrangement

When Cutting Off Family Isn’t What It Seems | Part 2 of "Unhealthy Forms of Control in Parent-Child Relationships"

This is part two of a two-part blogpost. You can find part one here.

The rupture between adult children and their parents is one of contemporary society’s most emotionally fraught phenomena. The recent surge of interest has sparked forums, books, podcasts, and even support circles for both camps of estranged parents and adult children. It goes without saying that estrangement itself is not necessarily a new phenomenon, but our increased discussion of the dynamics of family systems has brought it into the public zeitgeist like never before.

Yet, with all matters involving influence and autonomy, circumstances of sudden and unexpected shifts in identity or behavior require close examination. As I outlined in part one of this series, not all forms of influence are created equal, and parent-child dynamics can run the spectrum from loving and empowering to controlling and destructive. Estrangement itself can be protective and empowering. However, it is also important to ask the question of when is it protective, and when might it signal undue or cult-like manipulation?