Errant Belief #7: “He Must Be Weak, Stupid or Looking for Easy Answers or Someone to Tell Him What to Do”

“Don’t Blame the Victim”

This is a very commonly held, but fallacious generalization about people involved with destructive relationships and cult groups. People often try to find fault with people who experience tragedy by blaming the victim. Laying blame gives people a false sense of control over their own lives by distancing them from the victim. However, the idea that people knowingly join destructive cults is patently wrong. Most people are recruited at a vulnerable moment, without understanding the forces that are brought to bear on them. Sometimes a cult manipulates a recruit’s strength. For example, by playing to my high degree of self-confidence, the Moonies managed to get me and keep me, at their three-day workshop. I was not weak, nor stupid, or looking for someone to tell me what to do with my life. My girlfriend dumped me and three attractive women, pretending to be students at Queens College, flirted with me. They lied. Lied. Lied.